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Pricey Annie: I not too long ago had my fiftieth birthday. My boyfriend and I’ve been courting for seven years, with a two-year break. His pal not too long ago requested me if my boyfriend gave me a gift from him. I hadn’t acquired the current, so I didn’t say something to my boyfriend, hoping perhaps time simply acquired away from us and he forgot. It has been over six weeks now, and nonetheless nothing. There isn’t any likelihood my boyfriend is jealous of his pal in any means.
Might my boyfriend be holding an previous grudge from our previous breakup? We broke up due to a trauma of mine that he didn’t deal with properly; he ended up disrespecting me quite than consoling me. There are another issues I really feel he’s shielded about, however this feels completely different.
Is he stealing my current, or is there one thing I’m not getting? This appears out of character for him. I don’t need to be in a one-sided or dishonest relationship. — Confused
Persons are additionally studying…
Pricey Confused: The truth that you’re unwilling to ask him point-blank what occurred to your present is proof of a disconnect. Work out what’s holding you again — are you afraid of the reply? Of him getting indignant? Of different issues he could also be hiding from you?
It’s clear that you just and your boyfriend must work on open, sincere communication. No relationship can survive with out it — particularly one the place one or each events have endured a trauma. The assistance of an expert therapist would possibly will let you work out a communication type that works for you each.
Pricey Annie: My fiancee of 10 years needs us to maneuver ahead based mostly on lies. Final 12 months, I came upon my fiancee was having an affair. I referred to as her out on it, and he or she broke it off with him. We’ve been engaged on issues (two deaths within the household slowed issues a bit and made occasions troublesome), and for essentially the most half, we’re doing OK.
I need to forgive her and proceed on to marriage. Drawback is, she swears it was a one-week affair the place they’d intercourse 3 times. However I’ve discovered loads of notes, photos and their goings-on on social media, and her household suggests it was a yearlong affair.
I’ve requested her loads of occasions to only inform me the reality so I can forgive and we will transfer ahead. She retains telling me to stop dwelling up to now. I maintain telling myself that I do know the reality and that I ought to simply let it go. However I really feel I can’t transfer ahead based mostly on lies. What ought to I do? — Confused Coronary heart in Missouri
Pricey Confused Coronary heart: Enlist the assistance of a {couples} counselor to work by your fiancee’s affair and mend the injury it has prompted. I additionally surprise — why a 10-year engagement? Maybe in your counseling you’ll discover options to different underlying points which have prevented you from tying the knot sooner.
It appears you and your fiancee each need to put this occasion behind you and transfer ahead in your relationship and into marriage. Nonetheless, it’s clear that your fiancee’s infidelity is weighing on you each. This matter can’t merely be swept beneath the rug or ignored. To actually shut this chapter, you each have to be prepared to do the work and confront it to beat it.
Ship your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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